REKLAMA
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REKLAMA

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New Year's Eve is finally here,
where we can be drunk in public and no one minds.
That's why this is the best holiday.

...............Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Kim Kardashian,
Beyoncé, George Clooney & ME!
All the famous wish you a very Happy New Year!

...............It's your birthday, and I must say,
you certainly take the cake! And the ice cream.
And all the rest of the snacks.
Slow down and save some for the rest of us!
...............I figured out, what's the most difficult thing to do.
I think it's the counting of your wrinkles.
It's impossible to find one.

...............
REKLAMA
Girls have an unfair advantage over men:
if they can't get what they want by being smart,
they can get it by being dumb.

...............Men will spend 2 dollars on a 1 dollar item
that they desperately need.
Women will spend 1 dollar on a 2 dollar item
that they don't need at all.

...............A diplomat is a man who always
remembers a woman's birthday
but never remembers her age.

...............A New Year is the chance to start
over with a clean slate.
Too bad my credit card won't start
over with a blank slate.


...............You will be a little bit older,
a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
Happy New Year!

...............I made you a birthday cake to celebrate,
but I couldn't light the candles.
It turns out the fire department
requires a permit for bonfires.

...............
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