REKLAMA
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REKLAMA

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Tagi: Small, Monster, Megaphone

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New Year's Eve is finally here,
where we can be drunk in public and no one minds.
That's why this is the best holiday.

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Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Kim Kardashian,
Beyoncé, George Clooney & ME!
All the famous wish you a very Happy New Year!

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It's your birthday, and I must say,
you certainly take the cake! And the ice cream.
And all the rest of the snacks.
Slow down and save some for the rest of us!
...............
I figured out, what's the most difficult thing to do.
I think it's the counting of your wrinkles.
It's impossible to find one.

...............
REKLAMA
Girls have an unfair advantage over men:
if they can't get what they want by being smart,
they can get it by being dumb.

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Men will spend 2 dollars on a 1 dollar item
that they desperately need.
Women will spend 1 dollar on a 2 dollar item
that they don't need at all.

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A diplomat is a man who always
remembers a woman's birthday
but never remembers her age.

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A New Year is the chance to start
over with a clean slate.
Too bad my credit card won't start
over with a blank slate.


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You will be a little bit older,
a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
Happy New Year!

...............
I made you a birthday cake to celebrate,
but I couldn't light the candles.
It turns out the fire department
requires a permit for bonfires.

...............
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